The good stuff.

Time. What a powerful word. When you experience a huge life change like a new baby, you all but lose any free time or down time. Pre baby days I could lounge on the couch and actually watch a show in it entirety or shower long enough to have the hot water run out. Now, the tv always has subtitles on, and I'm lucky if I get in a good face wash in the shower. With all of the shifting it is inevitable that peoples roles in your life will change. Some will become stronger, while others fade out. Friends that I once were really close to now are more of acquaintances and I find myself really narrowing in on the ones that are growing and changing with me. That is the key word. That is what I want to focus on- the people that allowed me to enter the role of mom while keeping my role as friend. I have some spectacular friends. Some have walked this walk with me for a long time. Beautiful Brittney, 23 years of friendship. Seriously. We met in Kindergarten. Some years not so close, but never far away. She welcomed her second baby into the world a few days ago and I went to visit them in the hospital today. As I was driving home I reflected on the friendship her and I have shared. She isn't a best friend simply because I have known her the longest ( or because we have silly matching tattoos we got when we turned 18), it's because when I am around her there isn't one single layer blocking us from being who are. She is comfort. Just straight up goodness. There are not enough poems or phrases to explain a friend like her. Everyone needs a Brittney in their life..just not mine.
My point is that you have to really make time for friends when you are a mom. That is why it is important to nurture the ones that you have and let them know that they are important to you. Becoming a mom doesn't make my need for friends any less. They are a vital role that made me who I am today and who I will become. Betsey, Paige, Jackie, my "family friends- Amanda, Chrystal and Laura. You all are a amazing woman and, if I haven't had the time to tell you how much you mean to me, then I hope this helps. Thank you for your kind words, your bright personalities, and your never ending support. You all have showed me what unconditional love is, and  I am a better person because of each of you. And I know you will be there for me, time after time. Love to all of you.

There she is. My new "job"

Sara on the backburner. Mama on the front.

There are so many things about being a mom that I LOVE! A lot of comments I get about my blog are along the lines of asking me "isn't it worth it?" Well, yeah. Without a doubt it is the best thing in the world. Baby smiles and snuggles trumps all. However, there are a few things I wish I would have taken more seriously in my pre-Penelolope days. for example, being able to just get up and go. There used to be morning when I felt like treating myself to a coffee from Starbucks. So, I would throw on hoodie and go. Now it would be a fifteen minute production just to get to the car. I love me some Starbucks, but damn, not gonna happen. Laying on the couch, showering, sleeping deeply, taking a relaxing bath, talking on the phone, surfin' the web for no reason, and getting through a day without feeling like a big gross ball are all things of the past and the very far future. I know they are not gone forever, but I am in the very beginning and the light is extremely dim at the end of the tunnel. I just never really knew how awesome it was just to be able to "run to the store".  It is all part of the transitions into parenthood and like other things, change can be hard. I struggle with feeling productive, active and relevant in the world. My old life was 7 days a week of going, going going. Busy from the time I woke up until my head hit the pillow late at night.Work all day, school at night, homework, friends and family in any free time I had. Now, I wake up and do what feels like a whole lotta nothing. Sure, changing diapers, feedings, cleaning, laundry, entertaining Penelope are all important things, but I don't feel "busy". Every stay at home mom I have talked to have all said the same thing. Some days can feel like a battle to not go crazy while other days you feel like the most blessed, lucky mom on the planet to get to spend every minute with your baby. I have no idea what it would be like to be at work all day every day then come home to a baby. I'm sure working moms have their own set of struggles and rewards. But, what I do know is a good mom will be convinced that no one loves their baby as much as they love theirs. Which of course makes any situation worth it.