Got milk?

One of the biggest surprises for me personally, was the decision to breastfeed. Most women know without a doubt that they want to. I was extremely hesitant. I was always really open about my concerns and to be honest, I sometimes felt like I was being judged by people or even woman who were baby-less. The biggest concern was the transition from the ta-tas being a just a womanly feature to having a baby latched on there with milk coming out of them. It may not seem like that big of a deal, but to me the thought alone made me cringe. My very dear friend, Brittney kept telling me that I would feel different when Penelope arrived and I was like "do you know who you're talking to?!". Well, after twenty two years of friendship she did know who she was talking to.. she was right. Talk about motherly instinct kicking in! It felt so natural to provide that for your baby. Let me be clear, some woman can't, have difficulty, or simply make the choice not to breastfeed, and in no way makes them less of a "good mom" or any other negative thing some critics say about bottle fed babies. Again, this is just my personal experience with it and I hope some moms can relate to these stories. But, like all other things, there were so many surprises that came from nursing that little bundle of joy.
My favorite thing to share with non-moms is that your nipple doesn't have just one hole that milk comes out of. I learned this in my anatomy class and it was quite shocking that there is a large number of holes covering that small area. More holes, more milk, more mess. While my body was adjusting to making the right amount milk, it's motto was "better to have too much, than not enough". This left my me with two things- full, painful boobies and a newborn being hosed down like a fire in a bush with milk! I'm not even joking when I say that her face was literally being covered in milk, and it was coming out in every direction! Releasing the girls from the bra was like a super soaker on a hot day. Luckily, this is one thing that has mellowed out for me and the down pour of milk on Penelope face is a thing of the past.
In order for your baby to get full of of milk, the boobs need to fill up. You would assume they would just look big and voluptuous, but no. That would be too easy, almost even a perk to this whole thing. In reality they HURT! When they are full and no feedings in sight, it can be pure torture. It feels like rocks covered with tacks are taking over the inside of your boobs. Fun times. Now lets talk about leaking.
Nothing will make you feel sexier than a huge circular wet spot on your chest. Side story- There was a short time I went back to work and had to pump while I was there. One word- awkward. I worked with teens and there were only two bathrooms, and I had to pack my pump in there and hope that no one came knocking on the door. My first concern was they would think I was going in there to do some other "business", if you know what I mean. Since I didn't want the teens to think that I was always pooing at work, I had to turn it into a lesson. Like, don't have a baby if you don't want to sit in a hot bathroom on a summer day having milk pumped out of your boobs like a cow on a diary farm! Next concern was that someone would mistakenly do something with the pumped milk sitting in the fridge. Ugh. While at work or just out and about there is only one brand of nursing pads I will trust, Laniosh. They are fantastic! At home and at night to combat leaking I use cloth diapers. I found some great tank tops with a built in sports bra ( very loose fit) and just stuff the cloth diaper in it. This works great for soaking up the milk and it's kinda handy to have something to clean up a spit-up if your in a pinch. ( I use cloth diapers as burp rags as well! They are awesome!) Sleeping in these types of tank tops also make the middle of the night feeding much easier, you can just slide one strap down and not have to lift your entire shirt up.Cause lets be honest, my stomach isn't really looking beach ready! Liz Claiborne has a great line of these at Target. My favorite discovery was the side nursing technique. Laying on our sides on the bed became my go to style. She could eat, and I could sleep. She would just do her thing and fall asleep when she was done. It's strange how a mom brain will never let you roll over or even move a muscle when your baby is laying next to you. I have awaken with many sore necks because of this, but at least I got some sleep!
Another thing I said was that I was only going to nurse for the first six months. Penelope is now almost seven months and we are still nursing. Granted, it isn't as much as we have entered the world of baby food, but still. I can't say I will be sad when it comes to an end, my cute bras are collecting dust and after experiencing a pretty brutal infection in one of my boobs, I would say it's been a good run. Being scratched, hair pulled, sneezed on, and puked on all while nursing are not things I will miss. What I will miss is my sweet little baby falling asleep with a full belly of milk.

Ch Ch Ch Changes.

Ahh..you are home from the hospital. Sleep deprived, overjoyed and in love. So, what now? SHOWER!! Then, a few things that you can expect if you are a first time mom. Lots and lots of crying. And I don't mean by baby. I literally would cry at the drop of a hat. I would cry because I love her so much or I am so tired, too many visitors, or just because. I felt like I was always crying. I can say that six and half months later, I still cry, but not as much. Light at end of the tunnel! Also, there is nothing that can prepare you for how tired you will be. But, those crazy hormones will make you enjoy every sleep deprived moment with your new little bundle of joy. Another great thing about having a baby is that everyone and their mom wants to come meet them. Don't be afraid to say no, but remember that they want a quick snuggle with a newborn, too. I would tell some people that they can stop by for a couple of minutes, but nothing longer than half an hour. Some days there would be people coming back to back to see her, it can become overwhelming in the moment, but looking back I am glad I have those memories. People with common sense will completely understand if they have to wait to come over. Decide if you want flowers. Seriously. I was not prepared for the amount of bouquets I received,  but I LOVE flowers so I didn't mind one bit. Now let's get to the gross stuff, cause that's what I'm all about!

I felt ambushed by the amount of poop that a seven pound baby could produce! I mean, really! What goes in must come out, I guess. But this was at a rate that I barely could keep up with. Sometimes it would be in the middle of a diaper change, and I would find myself face to face with a double "situation". Not only am I trying to get her cleaned up, but now I have the carpet cleaner and bleach out to combat the spray poo that just hit the door and carpet next to the changing table.  Why didn't anyone tell me this? I would have taken more precautions while changing her diaper, like I would have done it quicker or in the bathtub. (Not really, but much easier to clean!) The best is when it would happen at 3:12 am. Awesome. That quick diaper change turned into a full blown crime scene clean up. Good thing I know who the culprit is, so no investigation needed. Best thing to do is laugh, because it truly was hilarious. The best was when I had her tush aimed towards her crib when she was locked and loaded..AIMED and FIRED! Target was hit. Guess it was time to change her sheets anyway. Moral of the story, have back up sheets, lots of diapers and even more patience.
Spit-up, pee and tears will quickly become part of your wardrobe. Being sneezed on will actually become cute and farts have never sounded so adorable. The truth is, it all is so gross but these things make you love your baby even more.(There go those crazy hormones again!) I love that God built us like this- to love, and love with every ounce of our being even after a day from h e double hockey sticks.  Cause, believe me, there will be plenty of those in the land of mommy.
Next up...nursing! Wait until you hear what it's REALLY like :)

The Birth...

I have been trying for awhile to figure out how to tell you how gross birthing a child is, without being so graphic. So, how about a few cliff notes. Just prepare yourself- it aint pretty. My friend Jackie said it best, "it was like a horror show". Here we go.

Labor just sucks. You feel gross, people are coming in all of the time to "check you".  Which means jamming their fingers way up your lady parts. That's real fun. If your lucky you will go almost an entire day with out a shower or sleep topped off with the beautiful birth of your baby. I have concluded that it's more the concept that is beautiful not the actual birth and pushing. That, my friend is straight nasty. Blood, goop, and some other unidentified matter is now all over your bed, your baby and possibly you. Some doctors will just plop your baby right on your chest. Don't get me wrong, I would not trade that moment for anything, but wow- I'm kissing the head of my baby that just came out of an area I haven't seen in months! So, great, baby is here, back to normal, right? Bwahahaha. So wrong. At some point my doctor pulled, yes pulled, the placenta out and even commented on how nice it looked! Sick. Better than having to push it out like so many have to, I guess. After that, they will half clean you and your baby and try to get you on the toilet. This is where reality hit. The nurse whips out a spray bottle of sorts and a adult diaper. I'm not joking, this diaper went from right under my belly button all the way to the bottom of my back! She informs me that I am not allowed to use toilet paper for a few weeks, only the spray bottle. (Funny side story, I would pack mine around in the diaper bag and I left in a bathroom somewhere and had to find one that was similar from Rite-Aid! So make you sure you don't forget it anywhere!)  She then will stick a huge ice pack into your diaper. You'll get to sit on an ice pack for a few hours, feels pretty good to be honest. Makes sense now, but so gross. And, the adult diapers would become the greatest thing since sliced bread. Not even kidding, because there was  something lurking around the corner that you will be very thankful for adult diapers for.While I had some family visiting in the hospital, my uncle made me laugh and I had ZERO control over my bladder. I peed myself. And that wouldn't be the last time.  ( side note, if you are planning a having a baby, stock up on the thickest pads you can find prior to coming home from the hospital) Now, I really lucked out and didn't suffer from any tears or the dreaded hemorrhoid. Nor did I pass some poo with the all of the pushing. But, trust me, that isn't normal. Most women will need stitches and some Preparation H. My nurse was nice enough to check my butt a few more times before I left just to make sure there was no damage. Thanks? The next few times you use the restroom the nurse will want to measure how much your peeing, so they will put a little measuring cup under you. Drink as much water as you can after you give birth because they require a certain amount before you can be cleared.  If you know me then you know how modest I am and let me tell you, I had to get over that real quick. Also, it is so amazing that not long after you give birth you start to forget how crappy it really was, I suppose it's because if you remembered it clearly, you would never do it again.


I wish I would have had a blog like this to read prior to having a baby. Would have saved me a few stunned moments in the hospital.