Sara on the backburner. Mama on the front.

There are so many things about being a mom that I LOVE! A lot of comments I get about my blog are along the lines of asking me "isn't it worth it?" Well, yeah. Without a doubt it is the best thing in the world. Baby smiles and snuggles trumps all. However, there are a few things I wish I would have taken more seriously in my pre-Penelolope days. for example, being able to just get up and go. There used to be morning when I felt like treating myself to a coffee from Starbucks. So, I would throw on hoodie and go. Now it would be a fifteen minute production just to get to the car. I love me some Starbucks, but damn, not gonna happen. Laying on the couch, showering, sleeping deeply, taking a relaxing bath, talking on the phone, surfin' the web for no reason, and getting through a day without feeling like a big gross ball are all things of the past and the very far future. I know they are not gone forever, but I am in the very beginning and the light is extremely dim at the end of the tunnel. I just never really knew how awesome it was just to be able to "run to the store".  It is all part of the transitions into parenthood and like other things, change can be hard. I struggle with feeling productive, active and relevant in the world. My old life was 7 days a week of going, going going. Busy from the time I woke up until my head hit the pillow late at night.Work all day, school at night, homework, friends and family in any free time I had. Now, I wake up and do what feels like a whole lotta nothing. Sure, changing diapers, feedings, cleaning, laundry, entertaining Penelope are all important things, but I don't feel "busy". Every stay at home mom I have talked to have all said the same thing. Some days can feel like a battle to not go crazy while other days you feel like the most blessed, lucky mom on the planet to get to spend every minute with your baby. I have no idea what it would be like to be at work all day every day then come home to a baby. I'm sure working moms have their own set of struggles and rewards. But, what I do know is a good mom will be convinced that no one loves their baby as much as they love theirs. Which of course makes any situation worth it.